You find the weirdest things when doing house cleaning…

This was found behind my night stand. For ten years, TEN horrid years, this abomination was hidden from the world, but now it has come to light.

As a tween, I was your typical nu-metal mall goth who loved Korn (and Limp Bizkit, and Orgy, and Slipknot, and…you get the idea). I drew the Korn logo on everything (and I mean EVERYTHING), I bought Adidas track pants to look like Jonathan Davis, and I even incorporated Korn into many of my school assignments, to the dismay of my teachers. For God’s sakes, I even painted a golf ball with black nail polish and then painted the Korn logo on it with white nail polish. They should have put me in charge of their marketing department.

One night, me mummy made some vegetable soup and I ate it with her. Because Korn just mattered that fucking much, I dug out a noodly K, a noodly O, a noodly R, and a noodly N from the soup and placed it on a napkin, making sure the R was backwards and all that dope shit.

There we go. Korn in vegetable soup.

As time went on (and I found other bands to obsess over), I forgot all about ever doing something this silly. Last week, ten years later, I got the nerve to finally clean up some things around the house. Out of nowhere, this fell out from behind my night stand.

A brown brittle K, and brown brittle O, a brown brittle BACKWARDS R, and a brown brittle N.

KORN AFTER AAAALLLLL THESE YEARS.

Now excuse me while I go carve the Mastodon logo onto my vibrator.

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