Tinsel Teeth | “A Dozen Dirty Eggs”
What the fuck can be said about this band? I don’t really know where to start. I only became aware of their existence yesterday after Jeremy from Shiny Grey Monotone posted a link to their latest album in the Women of Sludge/Stoner/Doom Metal group on Facebook. After a few listens, I’m convinced that this is what Macy Gray would sound like if she was an epileptic meth-head with throat cancer fucking a rabid labradoodle in an industrial park.
Besides the Jesus Lizard-bonkers music, the real peculiarity about the band is their front woman.Stephanie is her name, and shock is her game. I’ve heard a few people compare her to Julie Christmas, but there is no similarity between them that I can hear. She sounds like Macy Gray on meth, as I just mentioned, and she struts around on stage like GG Allin crossed with Iggy Pop. Seriouly, look at this crazy bitch:

I’m not saying this band is bad, and I’m not saying they’re good, either. I’m just saying “I don’t know what the fuck this is. Somebody please tell me”. This sounds like something Dr. Demento would have played on his radio show back in the day, sort of like Looney Tunes from Hell. Anywho, have a listen and let me know what you think about this. Together, we can maybe figure this one out.
Boy Void, No Age
Nuclear Crayons, “Catwalk”
This is an early ’80s hardcore/noise act from DC that time seems to have forgotten. The Mixed Nuts Don’t Crack compilation this song appears on only had 500 pressings.

The band was fronted by Lara Lynch, who founded Nuclear Crayons and their label Outside Records. She was inspired by the DIY ethics that Ian MacKaye has disbursed through Minor Threat and Dischord Records.
I came across this band a couple of years ago after finding the name “Nuclear Crayons” to be funny. Their music is strange and it often doesn’t work, but on this song, it kind of does. Let me know what you think.
No Age - “Fever Dreaming”
Was blasting this song before work and somebody told me to turn down the volume because it was “distracting” them….
NO CUIDADO.
Holly // Sleigh Bells
Hearing this song live was one of those “holy FUCK” moments. It’s even louder and heavy when it’s blasting in front of your face. If I had a band, I’d really love to do a Melvins-style cover of this. Don’t you think it would work?
SWANS: THE MOST INFLUENTIAL BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD
*To view pictures and other content, please click to the MAIN PAGE of my blog*
Earlier this year, I received a shock to the heart, and it was the good kind - not only were one of my all-time favorite bands, Swans, re-uniting for a tour, but a new album was also in the works. Being quite excited, I spread the news on several sites just to see who cared as much as I did. At most, I got maybe a couple of responses (and one of those was spam). Suddenly I remembered that Swans don’t exactly have the biggest following in the world. These days, it seems like Swans barely has a following at all outside of noise enthusiasts and the old die-hards from back in the day. Someone has to save Swans from its flirtations with relative obscurity, and it looks like that person will be me. Make yourself comfortable as I introduce you to some true unsung heroes of rock.
Let’s take a trip back to New York City in the early 1980’s. Punk, once the rebellious outlet of choice, was slowly being swallowed alive by the many mutant offspring it had birthed. Perhaps the most sinister of Punk’s offsprings was a predessecor to Noise called No Wave. Defined by down-tempo rhythms, abrasive lyrics, machine crunches, throbbing guitars, and droaning vocals, No Wave was the most brutal, repulsive musical genre around. The most noted band within the scene was Sonic Youth (who would considerably mellow out in later years), but there was another band in the scene who would have a major impact on generations to come: Swans.

Formed in 1982, Swans was the brain child of musical prodigy Michael Gira, who recruited Jonathan Kane, Sue Hansel, and Thurston More to round out the group. Numerous lineup changes would follow, but Gira and female vocalist Jarboe (who joined in 1984) would remain the constants. During Swans’ early years, their style was unlike anything that had ever been attempted within music before. Gira’s barks and growls, combined with the plodding savagery of the music, made nearly every song sound like a mental patient’s nightmare. Jarboe, the daughter of CIA agents, only added to Swans’ terrifying yet intriguing formula. Her soft yet mournful vocal nuances conjure images of a Disney princess down on her luck, providing a beautiful contrast to Gira’s brutality. No two Swans songs sounded exactly the same, yet they were all recognizable as coming from the same band.

What really set Swans apart, however, was the controversial nature of their lyrics. Gira and Jarboe recognized no sacred cows whatsoever. 1983’s Body to Body, Job to Jobwas inspired by serial killer Ed Gein; it’s key track “Raping a Slave” would have surely sent Tipper Gore and her PMRC buddies into full cardiac arrest. 1987’s Children of God, largely considered Swans’ best album, was a high-end concept album that incorporated themes of sex, child abuse, slavery, world poverty, and mind control in gritty detail. Sometimes, all of the above themes were discussed within the same song. For example, listen to Children of God’s leading track, “New Mind”:
Click HERE to watch the music video for “New Mind”
When Gira chants “THE SEX IN YOUR SOUL WILL DAMN YOU TO HELL!”, Swans as a band is truly defined. What other music group of this time period would even dare to include a line like this? As blasphemous as it sounds, its origins are actually quite placid. Gira once stated in an interview that the lyrics to “New Mind” were actually swiped from a sermon by former televangelist Jimmy Swaggart. The point of “New Mind” and Children of God in general was not to mock religion, but rather to expose the hypocrisy of those who misused religion to manipulate the masses. Think about it - if the lyrics to “New Mind” were set to a church organ and followed with a multitude of enthusiastic “Hallelujah!“‘s, would anyone find those words threatening?
A wide variety of artists have a little smidgen of Swans in them. The band had a huge influence on Neurosis (who Jarboe would later collaborate with) as well as Czech folk group Lucy in the Sky. Kurt Cobain even listed “Raping a Slave” as one of his top 50 favorite songs of all time. “Time is Money (Bastard)” from 1986’s Holy Money could be a lost Nine Inch Nails track if it hadn’t pre-dated the band entirely. Another Holy Moneytrack, “A Screw”, is a prime early example of the Noise Punk sound that acts like No Age are keeping alive. Swans’ more melodic songs (often with Jarboe on vocals) are a definite predecessor to modern Goth Metal. Listen to “We’ll Fall Apart” from 1988’s World of Skin - sounds a bit like Evanescence, doesn’t it? Some of Swans’ later songs strongly resemble the synthesizer/rock guitar/boy-girl vocal formula that Lacuna Coil have pulled off so well.
In 1998, the year that Swans called it quits, the band was still unknown by a large percentage of music consumers; their cover of Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” was the closest Swans ever came to having a radio hit. Nevertheless, Swans’ defiant music had a large impact on many music acts to come. The good news is that by re-uniting, Gira and company are opening themselves up to a younger fan base who might be more accepting of their music than previous generations. The only downside is that Jarboe declined to be a part of the reunion, instead preferring to be a solo act (this could spell problems for the band as they try to perform older material live). That’s undoubtedly a huge bummer, but something tells me that a guy like Michael Gira will find a creative way around this problem.
In Short: Swans isn’t a band for everyone, but they should first and foremost be revered as a truely unique musical forced that is often imitated but never, ever duplicated. If Swans IS the kind of band that peaks your interest, I suggest searching for their songs on YouTube or visiting the band’s Official Myspace. Get familiar and get educated. The more people who know about Swans, the better. They’re a passage in the modern music history books that has sadly been reduced to an asterisk Perhaps this article will suffice as the full-page column they deserve.

For more information, please visit Swans’ Official Website.
Boeing Feedback- Experimental Indie harsh noise project
My friends Shawn (left) and Jamie (right) have this music side-project they’re working on out of Jamie’s house (where everyone practically takes up residence now). I’ve recorded some vocals with them but those tracks won’t surface the light of day just yet. Opinions are appreciated.










