I had a wonderful, beautiful, happy as fuck dream last night. In the dream, Keith Buckley took me on a date. We went out to dinner and then he took me to this dive bar, and we went into a private room and had this monster-sized make out session. His kisses were hot and dirty, but sweet at the same time. We didn’t “do it”, so to say, but we did a lot of tongue wrestling.

Afterwards, he led me by the hand outside to the parking lot and said he had an amazing time. He smiled and me with this “oh you know it’s gonna happen again” look.

Seriously, that is the best dream I’ve had since the dream where I was riding around a mountain with Brann Dailor in a truck and we were eating ice cream together. I want more awesome, sweet dreams like that.

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BLOOD, GUTS, SWEAT, AND KICKS TO THE HEAD: GWAR AND EVERY TIME I DIE AT THE MASQUERADE, ATLANTA, GA

Holy fuck, what the hell can I possibly say about the insanity I experienced last night? It was my first time seeing every band on the bill, and I was definitely in over my head once I got to the Masquerade. Aside from being a rainy, gloomy Tuesday night, everything seemed to be going in the right direction. I got there early and waited for Warbeast to start their set, all the while wondering if I could truly hold my own in a crowd that hellbent on insanity.

Warbeast were the openers, and they played a straight-forward, no-nonsense brand of old-school thrash, which is just what was needed to further work up the crowd. I was most impressed with their drummer, and every song sounded like an anthem, and not in the cartoony sort of way that most thrash revivalists do. All in all, it was a great set, but I was more focused on what was to come later…

Every Time I Die are one of my favorite bands, and their set was just phenomenal. Everyone who keeps up with this blog on a regular basis knows that I have a giant lady boner for Keith Buckley, and being two feet away from him sent me into a hormone-driven frenzy. I screamed when he walked out on stage just as your mom probably screamed over Jon Bon Jovi back in the day - he is MY sex symbol. ETID’s set was a blistering blitz of standards and a few rare tracks, and it included a new song called “Pool Bimbos” (check out the somewhat-decent video I got of it HERE). Here are four MAJOR highlights of ETID’s set, at least for me:

• During “Ebolarama”, Keith looked straight into my eyes and held my hand. I couldn’t breathe.
• Jordan came out to the crowd and was towering above me. I touched his guitar and grabbed his jeans.
• I had an honest-to-god orgasm during Wanderlust. Hearing how sexy Keith sings that song in person just gave me one of those insane screaming O’s that can’t be explained. All in a crowd full of crazy kids.
• When the band went into “We’rewolf”, everybody lost their shit, including me. I was growling out the chorus of the song right along with Keith. Actually, I might have been louder than he was.

The pit was insane, and I got kicked in the head five times from kids who kept rushing the stage (most of them were female - I can’t imagine why). However, it was SO worth it. What an amazing set. Just…fuck.

After surviving that wonderful craziness, I went to get a beer and then anticipated the main event. GWAR…well…I’m kind of at a loss for words. Seeing their live performances on YouTube and actually BEING at one are two entirely different things. I got soaked in so much blood and squeed with delight when they dismembered Snooki. Given that Flattus Maximus AKA Cory Smoot died not too long ago, the band seemed to be in high spirits, and dedicated various parts of their set to their fallen brother, who is “returning to his home planet”.

The crowd was probably the most brutal one that I’ve ever been a part of. I was bruised and battered, and I have never seen so many people try to jump on stage before in my life. It was a miracle that I made it out in one piece! I lost an earring and I’m pretty sure my jacket will take two washes to get all the various fluids out of it, but nevertheless, I was front row at a GWAR show, and that means I’m a pretty tough bitch. If nothing else, it was just worth it to see the band for all the various theatrics - the music was just an added bonus.

After the show, I met Jordan Buckley and Steve (the new bassist) from ETID. Jordan especially was a very friendly guy, and when I told him I came from Chattanooga (2 1/2 hours away), he gave me a free poster! Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to meet Keith - he had left the show early to go hang out with some ATL friends. Regardless, it was amazing to get to meet the man responsible for ETID’s art, and one Buckley beats no Buckleys at all!

Overall, it was an amazing time. I got some really good photos on my Facebook account HERE, and as always, I’ve got a lot of great memories…

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One of the best photos I got from last night - Keith from Every Time I Die…

…Mmph. I 2nd row center during their set. I got kicked in the head a few times, but it was all worth it when Keith looked into my eyes during Ebolarama and held my hand…seriously, my hand touched his. That was magic.

Full review of the show with MORE pictures coming up in a few minutes!

1 Notes   Comment

There are only two men on the face of this Earth that I have an overwhelmingly intense urge to sadistically fuck until they scream for mercy. Well…you’re looking at them.

AND YES MYRSHA, MY HEART AND MY VAGINA ARE THE SAME THING.

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