In general, sludge metal tends to shy away from sexual topics; it’s sort of against the ethics of the genre. However, I have thought of a few exceptions to this rule, and wanted to make a mix tape of sludge metal songs about sex that a lucky couple could…get it on to. These are the only four I could come up with so far:

Baroness, “Jake Leg” - Definitely about cunnilingus (oral sex performed on a woman). Yes, the album is loosely based on the struggles of Confederate soldiers, but it seems like this soldier got a little lucky:

Lady!
Keep those hounds at bay
Feed me
The fruits of Avalon

The body’s a vessel
The hands find a cure
“Flesh is weak!” and my lip needs a meal

Weak in the knees
And you’re wet on the floor
“Ace of staves!” we will dance evermore…

For those of you not familiar with tarot cards or the occult, the Staves (or wands) symbolize passion and desire. An Ace in this suit represents a pivotal moment that will set forth a chain of events that will lead one to achieving his or her desired goal. In “Jake Leg”, this just means that Da Baiz has a 100% chance of munching on this girl’s peach cobbler. Also, the word “dance” has been used as a euphamism for sex throughout the centuries, so…yeah :)

Electric Wizard, “Venus in Furs” - Not a cover of the Velvet Underground song of the same name, but both songs were inspired by the writings of the same man, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, the father of Masochism.

I am the Zodiac, I am the stars,
You are the sorceress, my priestess of Mars,
Queen of the night, swathed in satin black,
Your ivory flesh upon my torture rack.

More occult imagery abounds. Mars was the god of war and turbulence, so this could be metaphorical for conquering a woman who was seemingly unconquerable. Either that or Jus Osborne was really stoned when he wrote this and thought the lyrics sounded trippy. I’m kind of leaning towards the latter.

Mastodon, “Stargasm” - Brann Dailor has said that this diddy is about having sex in space, which may or may not have been inspired by a Discovery Channel special on the same theme.

Awake in the moment,
Awaken the heart.
Look to the spirits,
Stargasm glows,
Stargasm…

And then we shift into overdrive,
But you’re not here.
And your legs and the stars collide,
You’re on fire / You’re on fire / You’re on fire…

Sounds like Brann (who likely wrote these lyrics, although Brent sings them) desires a sexual experience that connects him to his partner on a spiritual level, that awakens both parties to the wonders of fucking in the cosmos. There’s also a good deal of owl references in this song. In Celtic mythology, owls were wise messengers that provided insight into secrets and hidden truths, and could act as a medium between earthly creatures and spirits in the underworld. As with many of Dailor’s lyrics, themes of death and the afterlife weigh heavily on his mind, even during orgasmic rapture. Also note that orgasms have been nicknamed “little deaths” in French culture, and the word “die” was often used as a metaphor for an orgasm in the middle ages.

Torche, “Fuck Addict” - Despite the straight-forward name, the lyrics are a wee bit more cryptic (as is typical with sludge metal lyrics). Openly gay front man Steve Brooks probably wrote this one about how much he likes gay sex. That would make sense.

Your expressions explain everything, and I’d like to turn you on.
Pleasure is absence of pain.
Blood is withdrawn from art and joy.
Rest does not restore passion.
My fire will coat your chill, and I’d like to turn you on.

It looks like Steve just really wants to get this guy in the mood and fuck his brains out. He’s reassuring his mate that some really good sex will take his mind off of the negative aspects of life. The line about blood being drawn…well, you can use your imagination on that one. I’m not going to get too smutty here. Steve’s fire coating this guy’s chill simply means that he’s going to come on so hot and heavy to this guy that he will have to get rid of that icy chip on his shoulder and do some sheet-tumbling with Steve by night’s end.

Haha, so that’s all I could come up with. Do you know of any more songs in sludge/stoner/doom metal with overt sexual themes?

Sorry if that’s TMI, but let me explain:

Today in my Communications class, we were talking about censorship in films and the current Rating system. We watched part of the documentary This Film is Not Yet Rated, and the John Voight film Coming Home was brought up because of a scene that depicts cunnilingus. In the 70’s, scenes like this was pretty okay with the censors, but now it’s not the case.

Think about it - Blue Valentine’s big controversy involved a scene where Michelle Williams gets eaten out, and that got an NC-17 rating. What the fuck. First off, there aren’t any children out there who are going to be majorly traumatized just because they saw a girl getting her rocks off on screen; sex is a part of life and shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Why is Hollywood still so abjectly against women having sexual pleasure or men being totally nude? Women can be naked but not enjoy sex, but men can enjoy sex and not be naked. Makes no sense whatsoever.

On a more personal note, there are times when I do make the trek over to FuckYeahCunnilingus and stare at some of those images with total envy, especially the heterosexual ones (I’m straight, sorry to everyone who thought my orientation was otherwise). These men are serving the women, making them feel empowered and like total goddesses. Why the hell is that such a horrible thing to depict in a movie? Why is it treated like something gross or untouchable? There are times when it literally makes me sad inside and out that there isn’t a man in my life that can make me “creak like a watermelon”, as Salvador Dali put it.

This post is kind of rambly, but it just pisses me the fuck off that women’s sexual pleasure is downplayed. I want what I can’t have, because ther are too many of these “fuck-and-run” types that don’t want to cause any muscle spasms in their tongues at my free will. To all the men who follow me - does it really make you happy to give women orgasms or to eat them out, or is it just an altruistic act with no feelings?