To FYM, or not to FYM…
A few days ago, I abruptly gave up my admin position at FuckYeahMastodon. Yes, it’s true that I partially gave it up to focus on college, but there was another much more selfish factor.
Brann sees me as the woman behing FYM and little else. I came to the heart-breaking realization that I’ll never be his friend or matter much to him outside of FYM. Stupid me, I had gotten really attatched to the guy. By giving up my position at FYM, it was my way of trying to become somebody who didn’t give a fuck.
My stupidity and flawed logic has no end. I keep trying to find approval and acceptance among people who are never really going to care. It’s a simple confession; I love Brann. I get heart sick and angry over how stupid I am for feeling the way I do.
Don’t know if I should stay at FYM or just leave for good.
